On Chicago: Newspapers

One of the most interesting aspects of studying history is observing how contemporary it is. "Mr. Dooley," Finley Peter Dunne's fictional Irish barkeeper with an opinion on everything, made the following observation regarding the newspapers at the turn of the twentieth century:

"Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, conthrols th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward. They ain't annything it don't turn its hand to fr'm explaining th' docthrine iv thransubstantiation to composin' saleratus biskit. Ye can get anny kind iv information ye want to in ye'er fav'rite newspaper about ye'ersilf or annywan else. What th' Czar whispered to th' Imp'ror Willum whin they were alone, how to make a silk hat out iv a wire matthress, how to settle th' coal sthrike, who to marry, how to get on with ye'er wife whin ye're married, what to feed th' babies, what doctor to call whin ye've fed thim as directed,--all iv that ye'll find in th' pa-apers.

"They used to say a man's life was a closed book. So it is but it's an open newspaper."

Substitute "Internet" for "newspaper," if you like. Some things do indeed never change.

Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936)
From: "Newspaper Publicity," Observations by Mr. Dooley

"Mr. Dooley" (1902)